Sunil is quite excited. Reason for his excitement-he’s just found the right thing that’ll help him develop self-esteem. A new syrup has been invented, that once taken, can keep your spirits high and your self-esteem at its peak for at least 5 years.
The syrup was not available in open market., but somehow, Sunil has managed to get it from one of the contacts of his friends. He’s paid a hefty amount of money for it. The bottle is in his hands, and how he is unscrewing the cork of the bottle with his shaking hands. Oh! The syrup smells awesome. Sunil gulped down the whole syrup in one go. Ahh…it tastes wonderful. And as if some magic has started within his being. His self-esteem has started boosting and he’s feeling motivated like anything. He’s never felt so good in his life. ‘Wow! This syrup really works. Now, nobody can stop me from achieving my dreams.’ He said to himself proudly.
Oh! Lucky Sunil. I wish I also could find such syrup that could help me develop self-esteem. I am willing to pay any price to get it. But alas, there’s no such syrup or remedy available, at least not in my neighborhood. I need to put some efforts daily to stay motivated and develop self-esteem. Do you also want to know some tips that might help you, especially when you’re surrounded with the wrong kind of people-people whom we call ‘assholes?’
As I see this, staying motivated and developing self-esteem is not a one day affair. You feel motivated one day and the very next day you may feel low and frustrated. You need to make efforts daily to stay motivated. It’s just like eating food. The food you eat gives you energy, but you don’t expect that food eaten today shall keep you satiated and full of energy for 1 full week. That’s simply not possible. So, just as you eat food daily to keep your energy levels high, you also need to do something daily to stay motivated.
Of course, it sounds easy but it’s not easy, especially if you’re surrounded with assholes.
Assholes? Yup! We all know such people. They are negative people who suck energy out of everything that comes in their way. Their very presence makes you uncomfortable.
And there are times when you’re unable to figure out the cause of sudden decline in your self esteem. You start doubting yourself. You may think there’s something wrong with you, while in reality those negative vibes are originating from those assholes around you.
The sad thing is that sometimes you can’t avoid them. Why? Because they may be one of your family members, or a neighbor next door or maybe one of your so called ‘friends’. Now, that’s a difficult situation.
See, developing self-esteem is not always about shouting on top of your voice that you can do this and you can do that. It is actually about feeling good and positive about yourself and moving in the direction of your dreams with hope and enthusiasm.
Today I am going to share with you some of my insights on staying motivated and developing self-esteem. Theirs is a possibility that the insights I am sharing with you may not be of any use to you, simply because you’re a different person and what works for me may or may not work for you.
But hey! Why not give them a try? After all what could you lose? Nothing. So, let’s get started.
Recognize the ‘assholes’ in Your Life
This is the first and the most important step. And how do you do that? There’s a very simple exercise. Note down the names of people whom you come in regular contact with.
Now, take the first name and think how you feel in that person’s presence? Negative? Hmm…That means you need to stay away from him. Go through all the names and analyze them one by one.
The sooner you recognize such persons, the better it would be. Sometimes you keep bearing such people for the sake of companionship. What you don’t realize is that they are not worth keeping company. It took me almost 30 years to recognize one such asshole in my life (what an asshole I had been)
He was one of my cousins. A negative person and energy sucker vampire. I was an idiot to thought that such people are normal and there’s nothing wrong I keeping company with him. Now I realize how wrong I was.
Tell them to ‘Fuck off’
Telling the assholes to disappear from your life is the fastest way to get rid of them. But it requires a lot of courage and willingness to face the consequences. There might be some heated arguments because no asshole likes to be called an asshole. If you think you can tell them straight in their face then just do it. But I know sometimes taking this approach could be hard to take, especially, if you’re supposed to make this drastic change in your life all of a sudden. So, may be you could try a different approach-Be diplomatic.
Make a choice. Either tell them straight in their face to fuck off or start making some distance. When they call you up to check if you would like to accompany them for that marriage function where you’re also supposed to go (they know you also have been invited). May be you could say ‘Oh! I am not feeling well and I don’t think I’ll be able to attend the function’. But then go, and when you meet them at the venue, tell them that after taking some medicine you started feeling better and thought that you should attend the function. You get the idea? The idea is to start making some distance with such people.
Attention is the soul of any relationship. And when you take out attention from the equation, it starts dying. Keep that in mind and soon you’ll see those assholes disappearing from your life. It may take some time, so be patient.
Make Some Positive Friends
Make up for the harm you had done to yourself in the past by making friends with positive people in the present. The harm you have done to your thinking and your overall outlook towards life by being with the wrong people must be compensated for. All the wrong things that you may have learnt unconsciously or consciously needs to be unlearn.
So, make some positive friends, and in case you’re not able to find such people around, have the courage to stay alone. It’s better to be alone than in a bad company
Be Careful, Else You May Fall Back to Your Past Habits
Now that you’re not in a ‘bad’ company, there’s one thing that you must consider-you are a human being, and human beings are social animals. It’s hard and impractical to stay alone for a long time.
You’re at a crucial stage. You’re not keeping company with assholes but you haven’t been able to find some ‘good’ people to be friends with. And at this stage, there’s a great danger that you might fall back to your past habits. So, what can you do? Maybe you could try out the internet.
There are millions of blogs related to positive thinking and developing a high self-esteem. It’s a good idea to become member of any such blog or forum. You can ask questions, you can answer others ‘questions and can get some guidance to move forward in life.
Revive Your Hobbies
Remember how much praise you had got from your teacher and fellow classmates for that drawing when you were in 10th Standard? Or maybe you are quite good at making people laugh or maybe you’re a good speaker? What happened to those hobbies?
See, hobbies are a great way for you to express yourself in a free, creative manner. You need not worry about the outcome. Hobbies are for fun. They liberate you, uplift your spirits and ultimately help you develop a high self-esteem. So who not revive your hobbies now? What’s stopping you?
I know what you’re thinking-‘Well, That was a long time ago. Now I am 35 years old, a father of two, how could I draw?’ How could you draw? Well, I’ll tell you. Just take a pencil, an eraser, a sharpener, some colors and one art file. Don’t think. Just draw. Anything. Let your creative juices flow once again and you’ll see it’s not that difficult. Once you start reviving your hobbies, you’ll soon notice a kind of positive boost in your self-esteem.